The Moment Leadership Got Personal
I was working with James, a senior executive in a large multi-national organisation.
Smart, respected, experienced.
He’d climbed the ladder the “right” way. Delivered results. Built teams. Got promoted.
And yet, he sat across from me in our first coaching session and said:
“I feel like I’m succeeding at a job I’m not fully connected to.”
This wasn’t burnout. This wasn’t boredom.
It was something deeper: a quiet disconnection from himself in the way he was leading.
The Mask of Capability
James had become very good at adapting to what each new role demanded. New stakeholder? Adjust. Different board? Recalibrate. Bigger team? Project more confidence.
He was fluent in strategy and metrics, calm under pressure, and a master at giving the “right” answer. But over time, this adaptability had turned into something more subtle and more costly.
He was no longer leading as James.
He was leading as the version of himself he thought others needed him to be.
And it was starting to show.
His team respected him, but they didn’t really know him.
He was making decisions, but struggling to trust his own instincts.
He was leading, but it felt like he was always “on,” always performing.
He said it felt like putting on a suit of armour every morning.
Cracks in the Armour
Things came to a head during a leadership offsite, when his direct reports gave feedback that surprised him. They described him as composed, effective… and hard to read.
“We know you’re competent, we just don’t always know what matters to you.”
That was the moment. Not a crisis, but a crack.
James realised that the very thing he’d worked so hard to protect, his credibility, was becoming a barrier to his connection and influence.
And it hit him: “If people don’t really see me, how can they fully trust me?”
Rediscovering the Real Leader
Our coaching shifted after that.
We started exploring not just how he led, but who he was. The human underneath the role.
We talked about the values that had shaped his career decisions.
The setbacks that taught him resilience.
The mentors who had inspired him, and why.
The leadership moments that felt most meaningful, not just successful.
It was like peeling back layers. James wasn’t broken. He’d just built a strong leadership identity that no longer matched the leader, or the man, he wanted to be.
Bringing WHO to the Forefront
James didn’t flip a switch. He started small.
He told a personal story during a team town hall meeting, one that revealed a little more about what shaped him and what he cares about.
He began having more open conversations with his team, not just about performance, but about what was meaningful in their work.
He caught himself when he was defaulting too polished, rehearsed answers, and instead paused, reflected, and responded from a more grounded place.
And slowly, his leadership shifted.
So did his energy.
And his team? They leaned in more. Trusted more. Contributed more.
Because James wasn’t just delivering direction. He was showing up fully.
Not perfectly - but personally.
The Real Work of Real Leadership
Leading from WHO you are isn’t a branding exercise.
It’s not about being more “authentic” in a performative way.
It’s about alignment.
About allowing your values, experiences, and voice to shape your leadership, not just your skillset or your title.
James didn’t need to become a different leader.
He just needed to remember who he already was - and bring more of that to how he leads.
#RealLeadership #WhoYouAreMatters #AuthenticLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #MichelleSalesLeadership #LeadershipPresence
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