From Checked Out to Fully In: Leading With WHO, Not Just What
A while ago, I worked with a senior leader named Mark.
Mark was in a big job - leading a division of several hundred people, responsible for major transformation work, and well-known in his industry for getting results.
But when we first met, he described feeling “a bit numb.”
“I’m showing up. I’m doing the job. But I’m not sure I’m really in it anymore,” he said.
On paper, he was performing. His team was stable, his KPIs were green, and his stakeholders were happy. But Mark felt like he was leading on autopilot, present, but not connected.
He wasn’t failing. But he wasn’t thriving either.
The Slow Fade of Self
When we explored what was behind that flatness, we uncovered a slow, quiet drift - not from the organisation, but from himself.
Over the years, Mark had adjusted, adapted, and compartmentalised so much in his leadership that his real voice was nowhere to be found. He led from strategy, not story. He made decisions from logic, not values. He avoided vulnerability, not because he feared it, but because he didn’t think it was relevant.
He wasn’t out of alignment with the organisation. He was out of alignment with himself.
And it was starting to show.
His team described him as steady but distant. His peers respected him, but rarely sought him out for collaborative thinking. And worst of all - he stopped enjoying the work that used to energise him.
The Wake-Up Moment
The turning point came during a difficult restructure. Mark had to lead conversations that impacted people he cared about. It was high pressure, and he handled it well, externally. But internally, he felt hollow.
After one particularly tough day, he admitted:
“I delivered the message, but I didn’t bring me to that conversation. I sounded like a comms script.”
That moment cracked something open. Not in a dramatic way, but enough to make him pause and say: This isn’t how I want to lead.
Finding the Way Back to WHO
In our coaching sessions, we worked on helping Mark reconnect to his why, and his WHO.
We explored:
- What originally drew him into leadership
- The values that matter most to him, not just professionally, but personally
- The kind of leader he admired, and why
- The difference he wanted to make beyond just hitting the numbers
One thing that kept coming up? Integrity.
Mark deeply valued honesty, fairness, and doing what’s right, but hadn’t found ways to bring that into how he communicated and led.
So, he started there.
He began sharing more of his thinking in meetings, not just his decisions.
He made space in team discussions for values, not just deliverables.
He asked his direct reports, “What feels meaningful in your work right now?” and started sharing what felt meaningful in his.
These were small shifts. But they were deeply real.
And they changed everything.
When Leadership Gets Real
Mark’s leadership became more human. More grounded. And more trusted. His team started engaging with him more personally. His peers started describing him as “authentic” and “clear.” And perhaps most importantly, he started to feel proud of how he was showing up again.
He wasn’t just leading people. He was in it with them.
Because capability without connection is a dead end.
You can lead from role and responsibility, but it’s WHO you are that makes people follow.
#RealLeadership #AuthenticLeadership #WhoYouAreMatters #LeadershipPresence #LeadershipDevelopment #MichelleSalesLeadership
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