The Water You Carry: Managing Your Emotional Load in Leadership
In leadership the ‘water we carry’ is a vital, yet often heavy load that must be transported carefully to sustain and nurture ourselves and others. But what happens when the container overflows? When the weight of the water - the emotional load - becomes too much to bear, the inevitable happens: it spills. And when it does, it almost always spills in the places we least want it to, affecting not only our leadership but also our health and personal well-being.
The emotional load we carry as leaders is an amalgamation of our roles, responsibilities, challenges, and internal struggles. It includes the weight of decisions, the pressure to perform, and the need to support others. While this load is an intrinsic part of leadership, it can become overwhelming if unmanaged. When this happens, the water we carry threatens to overflow, seeping into areas where it doesn’t belong, often with unintended consequences.
The Impact of an Unmanaged Load
When our emotional load is too high or left unchecked, it affects our ability to bring who we truly are to how we lead. Instead of leading with authenticity and strength, we may find ourselves reacting emotionally, making impulsive decisions, or withdrawing altogether. This disconnect not only undermines our effectiveness but also diminishes the trust and connection we build with our teams.
Unchecked emotional load doesn’t just affect our professional lives—it takes a toll on our health and personal relationships. Stress, anxiety, and burnout are common outcomes of carrying too much water for too long. Over time, this can manifest as physical ill health, strained relationships, and diminished overall well-being.
When the Water Spills
The water we carry often spills where we least expect or want it to. A moment of frustration may lead to an outburst in a meeting, straining relationships. A sleepless night over a tough decision might leave us too drained to engage with our families. Or, the pressure to achieve might cause us to push too hard, alienating those we aim to inspire.
These moments remind us that we are not infinite reservoirs; we have limits. As leaders, we must recognise and honor those limits to enable us to lead with clarity and compassion.
A New Year Check-In: Assessing the Water You Carry
As we step into a new year, it’s the perfect time to pause and take stock of the water you’re carrying. Here’s a simple yet powerful exercise to help you assess your emotional load and bring clarity to your responsibilities.
Grab a blank piece of paper and start mapping out all the roles you play in life. Break them down specifically—this is about getting the full picture, not just the headlines.
In your personal life, think about all the hats you wear for others. Are you a partner, parent, friend, caregiver? List them all.
In your professional life, don’t stop at just writing “leader.” Go deeper. What projects are you sponsoring? Which team members rely on your guidance? Are there peers you’re informally mentoring or supporting? What broader responsibilities do you have across your organisation?
And here’s a big one: Don’t forget yourself. What roles do you need to prioritise for your own health and well-being? Are you an advocate for your own rest, fitness, or mental clarity?
Once you’ve mapped everything out, step back and take a good look at your overall picture. Ask yourself:
- Is my load in balance?
- Is my water at risk of spilling?
- Where can I lighten the load?
- Are there areas where I should carry more to achieve greater impact?
This exercise isn’t about perfection—it’s about perspective. By reflecting on the water you carry, you can adjust the balance, reduce unnecessary weight, and create space for what truly matters.
When you need to Lighten the Load
To manage the water we carry, we need intentional strategies to prevent the container from overflowing:
- Self-awareness: Regularly assess your emotional state. Are you feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, or irritable? Recognising the signs early helps you address them before they spiral.
- Prioritise self-care: Exercise, proper sleep, and mindfulness practices aren’t luxuries; they are essentials for emotional resilience. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for effective leadership.
- Delegate and share: You don’t have to carry the load alone. Empower your team to take ownership of tasks, creating a culture of shared responsibility.
- Seek support: Whether it’s through mentorship, coaching, or peer networks, talking through challenges can provide perspective and reduce the weight of the load.
There is no such thing as the Perfect Balance
Leadership is a constant act of recalibration. And in reviewing the water you carry it is not about eliminating the load but managing it. When we take the time to manage this proactively, we preserve the capacity to lead authentically and sustainably. The key is to handle it with intention, so it nourishes us as leaders and humans rather than overwhelms us.
When we create this space, it allows us to bring who we truly are to how we lead—ensuring that the water we carry enriches rather than spills.
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