The Real Resilience of Leadership: Moving Beyond “What Doesn’t Kill You”
In my professional world of leadership, resilience gets a lot of airtime, and often, it’s draped in the old saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But let’s pause for a moment—does it really? If that were true, why do so many leaders feel more exhausted than empowered after facing challenges? Real resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about growing through, adapting, and, ultimately, staying true to who you are as a leader.
To get real about resilience, I find it easy to use a tree analogy as we are lucky enough at home to be surrounded by national park. Imagine a sturdy gum standing tall – such an Aussie icon. These trees weather countless storms—wind, rain, and even a few lightning strikes. They don’t just “bounce back” after each hit. Instead, they dig deeper, fortifying their roots and adapting to the harsh conditions around them. Their resilience isn’t only on the surface; they are rooted deeply in the strength they have developed over many years.
And much like our gum trees, real leaders don’t just survive the storms—they adapt, grow, and become more grounded in who they are.
Let’s start by debunking the “what doesn’t kill you” myth. Resilience isn’t about simply surviving hardships and acting as if nothing happened. It’s about using those challenges as a catalyst for self-awareness, reflection, and real growth. Surviving something tough doesn’t automatically make you stronger; it’s the work you put in afterward—how you process, reflect, and choose to adapt—that builds lasting resilience.
So, how do we go about building this kind of “rooted” resilience in our leadership? Here are some key steps:
- Acknowledge the Storms. The first step to resilience is recognising and respecting the challenges that come your way. Ignoring or downplaying them isn’t helpful. True resilience means facing reality head-on, admitting when things are tough, and allowing yourself to feel what you feel. It’s okay to bend like a tree in the wind—what matters is that you don’t break.
- Dig Deep with Self-Reflection. Just as a tree’s roots grow deeper to support its growth, so should you take the time to reflect on who you are as a leader and what values keep you grounded. Real resilience isn’t about changing your core; it’s about strengthening your foundation so that you’re prepared for future storms. Ask yourself, “What matters to me as a leader? How do my values guide me?” The stronger those roots, the more adaptable you’ll be.
- Adapt, Don’t Just Recover. Bouncing back isn’t enough—real resilience involves adapting and evolving. Each challenge you face offers lessons that shape you. Ask, “What can I learn from this experience? How can I do better next time?” Real growth comes from acknowledging the areas that need work and committing to change.
- Stay Connected. Resilient leaders know they’re not alone. Just as trees thrive when part of a forest, leaders grow stronger when they’re supported by a community. Surround yourself with people who support and challenge you—mentors, colleagues, and even family members. They’ll remind you of your strengths and give you perspective during difficult times.
- Nurture Yourself. Real resilience isn’t a constant, unbreakable state. You need time to recharge and nurture yourself. Just like trees rely on sunlight and water to thrive, leaders need to prioritise their well-being to sustain resilience. Whether it’s through exercise, hobbies, or simply unplugging, taking time for yourself is critical.
In leadership, resilience isn’t about enduring endless hardship without wavering.
It’s about growing and adapting while staying true to your roots. It’s about being real—real with yourself, real with your values, and real in the way you lead. Because, at the end of the day, a leader’s resilience isn’t measured by how many storms they’ve survived but by how deeply they’re grounded in who they are, ready to face whatever comes next.
We are going to spend more time over the coming weeks getting deep into some of the elements of resilience for leadership. And we love working with leaders and leadership teams to strengthen resilience. We are now full for 2024 but taking lots of bookings for the first half of 2025. If you are interested in exploring this work please get in touch.
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