It’s a secret most leadership books won’t tell you: the biggest danger isn’t making mistakes. It’s drifting away from yourself.
When you step into a new position or bigger opportunity, there’s an almost magnetic pull to become what you think others expect. It’s subtle - not “faking it” so much as performing, editing, and curating your image until you hardly recognise what’s left. Somehow, being “a good leader” starts to look like blending in, ticking boxes, and always projecting strength.
That’s how leaders become disconnected, exhausted from holding it all together, second-guessing every move, and quietly wondering, “Is this just how it is?”
Real leadership is not something you grow into like an ill-fitting suit. It’s something you notice and embody from the inside out.
Have you ever admired someone purely because they seemed perfect? Unlikely. The most memorable leaders - the ones who moved you - were real, complex, and honest. They shared stories, admitted when they didn’t know, and made you feel seen.
Why does this work? Because people follow people, not personas.
When leaders:
- Share what matters to them (not just what’s on the status report)
- Admit doubts or setbacks (instead of pretending to have it all together)
- Check their urge to chase approval, and instead lead grounded in purpose
Everything changes. Connection deepens. Influence expands. Performance follows - because the bar becomes trust, not just output.
Take James, a senior leader who couldn’t retain top talent. Despite being reliable and delivering good results, he was seen as hard to reach, a little stiff. When he started opening up - not oversharing, but sharing his real story - the team came alive. Innovation ticked up. People started staying, contributing, asking better questions.
Here’s the kicker:
- The cost of staying hidden is always higher than the risk of being seen.
- Leadership, at its core, starts with you - your experiences, strengths, and honest presence.
If you find yourself stuck in the performance trap, pause and ask:
- Where am I leading from habit or expectation?
- Where could I lean into the parts of me that feel most authentic - even if, at first, it feels slightly vulnerable?
As you practice, you’ll notice your leadership grows more sustainable and your impact more meaningful. Because the real you, present, connected, and unapologetic, is exactly the leader your team has been waiting for.
#RealLeadership #StopFakingIt #LeadershipPresence #MichelleSalesLeadership
Follow us on: LinkedIn Instagram Facebook