You can’t exercise leadership well without influence.
Not real influence - the kind that shifts mindsets, opens doors, and helps people move forward together.
Influence isn’t about title, control, or how many people report to you. It’s about your ability to understand what’s going on around you and shape progress, often without formal authority. And if you’re serious about being a Real Leader - Resilient, Empathetic, Aligned, and Leveraged - then learning the skill of influence is non-negotiable.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t soft. It’s strategic. It’s powerful. And it’s often what separates good leaders from those who create lasting impact.
Influence Starts with Observation
The first skill of influence? Learn to read the play.
Too many leaders operate with blinders on, focused on their own priorities, targets, and goals. But real influence begins with awareness. The ability to scan the environment, notice dynamics in the room, and tune into what’s being said (and not said). That’s observational skill.
It’s picking up that someone’s tone shifted halfway through the meeting. It’s noticing who hasn’t spoken, who keeps being interrupted, who’s nodding but not truly engaged. Observation is the leadership equivalent of reading the room, and it gives you the data you need to lead effectively.
And here’s the kicker: The most important tool for good observation is empathy.
Empathy opens the door to real insight. When you can momentarily put your own agenda aside and truly focus on the experience of others, what they’re feeling, what matters to them, you start leading from a place of connection. Not control.
Empathy Fuels Interpretation
Once you’ve observed, the next step is interpretation. And this is where courage comes in.
Most of us jump to conclusions. We assume we know what people want, fear, or care about. But if you want to influence meaningfully, you need to be willing to sit in uncertainty. To consider multiple interpretations. To get curious instead of being right.
This means asking yourself:
• What else might be going on for them?
• What are they not saying?
• What would I care about if I were in their shoes?
This isn’t about being manipulative. It’s about building a deeper, more nuanced understanding of what drives people, and then using that understanding to help move things forward in ways that work for everyone, not just you.
Meet People Where They Are
And finally: meet people where they are.
It’s tempting to barrel in with your ideas, your pitch, your plan. But real influence happens when you slow down and consider the other person’s starting point.
Where are they right now, in terms of readiness, mindset, or emotional state? What context are they holding that you’re not seeing? What do they need to hear first before they’ll even consider what you’re proposing?
Meeting people where they are doesn’t mean dumbing things down or compromising your vision. It means taking the time to bridge the gap. To make your message land. To create traction instead of resistance.
Progress rarely happens in giant leaps. More often, it’s about finding the next step that feels safe, achievable, and aligned for everyone involved. That’s leadership with influence. That’s leadership that lasts.
Influence Is the Gateway to Leverage
When you influence well, you expand your reach as a leader. You don’t just get better at leading your team, you create ripple effects across teams, functions, and even entire organisations.
People start to want to work with you. They listen when you speak. They bring you into the room, not just because of your role, but because of your reputation for being insightful, respectful, and real.
That’s what leverage looks like. And it starts with influence.
So here’s the reflection: Are you paying attention to what’s really going on around you? Are you listening for what matters to others, not just what matters to you? And are you willing to meet people where they are to help them move forward?
Real leadership isn’t just about vision or execution. It’s about connection. And the leaders who influence well, who see, interpret, and engage with empathy, are the ones who create the most impact.
Influence is one of the most sought after leadership skills that we teach so if you are wanting to increase your ability to influence, as a leader or as a group, then please get in touch.
#RealLeadership #LeveragedLeadership #Infuence #Empathy #ReadThePlay
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