Ever stepped into a new leadership role and noticed the subtle pressure to perform, not just in results, but in who you are? It’s as if, overnight, there’s an invisible mask you’re supposed to wear. Confident, but not arrogant. Visionary, yet practical. Decisive, but never too bold. Be yourself, but only the parts that make others comfortable.
Many of us fall for it. And I see it all the time with leaders regardless of whether it’s the first leadership appointment or seasoned leaders going into ‘C suite’ roles. Thinking leadership means playing a part, a version patched together from other successful people around them. Language becomes borrowed, mannerisms adopted, and all the bits that make you uniquely great are edited out.
Here’s what I’ve learned many times over:
Leading with a mask always costs you.
I love a good myth bust, so let’s bust the biggest one about leadership:
- It’s not a performance.
- It’s not a checklist.
- It’s not about fitting an outdated mold.
Leadership is a presence and a way of being that starts with authenticity.
I couldn’t tell you how many clients have been given feedback to work on their executive presence. But that’s usually the extent of the feedback. Rarely the feedback extends to what that means and what it could look like for them. And so leaders wander around thinking about what this mysterious executive presence ‘should’ look like for them.
When you hide behind the mask, a few things happen:
- You lose touch with your own intuition and ideas.
- People struggle to connect because they sense you’re holding something back.
- You create distance, even with the best intentions.
People and teams aren’t inspired by a polished façade. They’re inspired by the leader whose presence says: “I’m real and I’m human”.
As soon as you begin revealing more of yourself– who you really are, your real motivations and beliefs - something always shifts. The right people lean in. Trust grows. And results start to flow with less resistance.
Where to Start:
Take inventory. What roles are you playing that don’t fit? Where have you learned to mute your real voice for the sake of “fitting in”? Pick one meeting, one conversation, and intentionally lower the mask, even just a little.
You’ll be surprised at the energy it unleashes - both in you, and in the people you serve.
We run some amazing Real Leadership Programs. So if you are looking to unleash your real self and bring more of who you are to how you lead then please get in touch.
#RealLeadership #BeReal #OldRulesNewRules #HumanFirst #NoMoreMasks
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