Real Leadership: Connecting at the Core

Again, this year I’ve had the privilege to facilitate many executive and leadership team off-sites. Different organisations, different industries, different team dynamics, but very familiar moments always show up.

During closing reflections, someone would say a version of this:

“The real value for me wasn’t just the work we did. It was finally having the space to really connect with each other.”

Not just connecting over strategy, priorities, and dashboards. Connecting at the core.

Human on Purpose

We talk a lot about high performance in leadership. Outcomes, metrics, results. And yes, that matters. 

But what keeps being reinforced for me with the teams that I work with is:

The teams who perform at the highest levels are the ones who are most human on purpose.

They don’t leave the “human” part of leadership to chance. They intentionally create space to:

• Sit together without rushing to the next agenda item;
• Dig deeper than roles and responsibilities and what needs to be delivered;
• Share more of who they are, not just what they do;
• Explore what matters to them and how they can be better together.

When we do this work in the room, you can feel the shift.

People relax a little.
Stories come out that no one has heard before.
Assumptions soften.
Tension drops.
Respect grows.

And funnily enough, once those human foundations are strengthened, the “hard” stuff - decisions, trade-offs, accountability - becomes easier.

Connecting at the Core

Connecting at the core is more than a nice moment at the end of an off-site. It’s a choice about how you lead.

It’s the decision to bring who you are to how you lead.

That doesn’t mean oversharing or turning every meeting into a therapy session. It means being willing to:

• Share what you care about, not just what you expect
• Be honest about what’s hard, not just what’s working
• Admit where you don’t have the answers
• Be curious about the people you lead, beyond their job description

In almost every off-site I’ve run recently, the most powerful conversations haven’t happened during the big presentations. They’ve happened in the quieter moments:

• When a senior leader shared the story behind why inclusion matters so deeply to them
• When someone admitted they’d been holding back because they weren’t sure their voice belonged at the table
• When two peers acknowledged a pattern of misunderstanding and chose to reset, face to face

These are the moments that change how teams work together. Not because we’ve introduced a brand-new framework, but because people have been willing to show up more fully.

Space, Intention and Care

The thing about connecting at the core is that it doesn’t just “happen” because we wish it would. It needs three things:

1. The Right Space

If your only touchpoints are rushed meetings, stacked agendas and back-to-back calls, depth doesn’t stand a chance.

You don’t have to run a two-day off-site every week, but you do need intentional space where the purpose is connection, not just coordination. That might look like:

• A monthly leadership conversation with a single, human-centred question
• A team check-in focused on “how we are” before “what we’re doing”
• A dedicated session in your off-site meeting where the only agenda is to listen and share

2. The Right Intentions

People can feel the difference between “we’re doing this because someone told us to” and “we’re doing this because we genuinely care about how we work together.”

Set the intention clearly:

• “We’re here to understand more about who we each are.”
• “We’re here to talk honestly about how we can be better together.”
• “Today is about connection, not perfection.”

When leaders name this up front, it gives everyone permission to show up differently.

3. The Right Care

Care shows up in the little things:

• How you listen when someone shares something vulnerable
• Whether you protect space for conversation instead of cutting it short
• How you follow up when someone has been brave enough to speak honestly

Care doesn’t mean you avoid difficult conversations. It means you hold them with respect. You can be clear and kind at the same time.

Before you ask your team to connect at the core, ask yourself:

• What part of who I am have I been holding back in my leadership?
• What really matters to me that my team may not actually know?
• Where could I replace performance autopilot with more presence and curiosity?

Maybe this is time for a more ‘real you’ to show up in your leadership?

That might be:

• Sharing a story about a moment that shaped your values
• Naming the kind of leader you’re actively trying to be (and where you’re still working on it)
• Letting your team see not just your competence, but your care

Because what I’m seeing with leadership teams right now is:

The work we do on strategy, accountability and performance matters. It absolutely translates into results. 

But the real shift, the one that lasts, comes when people feel connected at the core.

When they feel seen.
When they feel heard.
When they feel like who they are, belongs in how they lead.

So What?

If you’re leading a team, here’s a simple way to start this week:

In your next meeting, carve out ten minutes and ask:

“What’s one thing that matters to you - as a human, not just in your role - that you’d like us to know so we can be better together?”

You definitely don’t need slides.
You don’t need a perfect script.
You just need a bit of space, clear intention, and genuine care.

That’s how you start bringing who you are to how you lead.

#RealLeadership #MichelleSalesLeadership #ExecutiveOffsite #LeadershipOffisite #LeadershipTeamDevelopment #HumanonPurpose #WhoYouAre #HowYouLead #ConnectAtTheCore

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